I wasn’t aware that there was more then one type of affair.  But four!  1. A sexual affair ( the one that everyone knows about) 2. Fantasizing   infidelity (which may seem harmless but can be lethal 3. Visual infidelity (like pornography) 4. Emotional infidelity (like a bad mother in law who doesn’t understand about the dynamics of relationships).  This was very eye opening for me because I feel like many people are having an affair they just aren’t aware.

   Openly talk about sex was something that was new to me as I have come from a more private family. it has really shown me how important to communicate even about matters like that with your spouse. I like how Brother Williams said ”sex is not the most important part of a relationship but it is a great barometer for how the other parts of the relationship is going.”  Interesting stuff.

Last month for a family get together  my mom asked if i would share something i was learning from one of my classes.  So i taught them about the parellel marriage concept brother williams taught.  this was particularly great because that is the exact marriage my mother and step father are in.   By their comments and looks on their faces, it appeared they liked the idea.  I think it helped them see things with an outside view looking in view.

          The Relationship attachment Model was an awsome concept i had never heard of.  This was very interesting to me because I saw how the model can be completely saturated by including physical touch too early.  I will definitely be more aware of this the next time I date someone.  I will be more cautious to move up all measurements at an more even rate.

The idea of Hanging out vs. Dating is a new idea to me.   I mean i guess i always knew about it but i never really categorized it nor saw the importance of dating.  But it totally makes sense, i mean how can you honestly get to know someone when all you know is how they act in a group setting?
   I also liked how Brother Williams said that  "there is no shortcut to getting to know someone."  that statement is so true.  I've jsut learned that it takes straight up time and good listenting.  Trust and a comfort of someones presence cant be bought you gotta build it up.  I gues you just have to fulfill the know quo of time togetherness and talk ( with mutual self disclosure)

When Gloria Steinham said the  "we badly need to raise our boys more like we raise our girls" I thought of my uncles Jason Harris and his family. 
Jason Harris Bounty is a professor at San Francisco State's business college.  Jason's wife works as a children's librarian for the San Francisco Public Library.  Together they have two kids, a boy of 14 and girl of 12.
 After having that gender discussion in class, I spoke to Jason and asked him about his parenting style.  He told me that he is a strong feminist as is his wife.  They believe that running a family as a shared role that should not be gender segregated.  He told me "its not easy trying to teach my kids about a peer marriage with the the inevitable stereotypical society of genders"
His belief is that if his kids grows up doing the responsibilities that pertain to both genders, they will gain a greater appreciation for life and people.  He believes that by raising someone in this manner, that he or she will grow up to be a more understanding, holistic person.
An interesting parenting style that I have never thought about but i see his perspective.

Last Friday i drove down to Utah to see an old mission companion of mine.   He asked me to be one of his best men for his wedding.  The interesting thing about this marriage is that my old companion from south Jordan was marrying a girl from Panama.
They had met in the mission but had no romantic relations during his mission.  Upon his arrival home from serving the two years he began to feel a great uneasiness and as he studied the feeling out in the temple he knew he had to go back to Panama.  During his visit to Panama he  felt the strong impression that this woman was to be his eternal companion.
They were engaged and waited the 5 months till her visa came through.  They where sealed as an eternal couple on the 18th of May for time and all eternity in the Salt lake temple.
As i watched them interact, it was apparent that they were very happy.  Although i found it weird that she could not speak English and she was just thrown into this new culture.   I cant even imagine the extreme emotions this woman must be feeling. 
As i watched the wedding i couldn't help but think of the lesson we had in class about the great risks couples take when marrying someone who is not of their same culture. I cant imagine the interesting experiences they are going to have adjusting to one anthers lives.  I hope the best for the couple

I have been thinking this week about the discussion we had on the importance of having different opinions in a marriage.  Truly it is impossible to evade conflict in a real close relationships. why because we are all different!
The book states that "not only is conflict norma, but when it is handeled properly, it strengthens rather then threatens the marriage."
  I was down in Utah this past weekend visiting my sister.  That Friday we went to the Honda dealership to get an oil change and to meet up with her husband to snag some IN and Out Burger.  Upon our arrival to the dealership my sister stated to her husband that she didn't think the car needed an oil change because there was no waring light indicating such.
  As we approached the counter my sister's husband told the the man that he believed the car needed an oil change because it had been 3 months.   The man then commented that due to the fact that car was newer version  that the car had sensors and would indicate when it was necessary to get an oil change.
  My sister that pulled the " I told you so..." comment bu they later agreed to just take advantage of moment and they got the oil change done.   The double double animal style burger was delicious as always but the conversation over our burgers was a little slim.   i could tell there was a little contention in the air.
  My sister later enlightened me on contention in marriage by telling me that her husbands way of dealing with little things like this, was to  "defuse".  She said that there are certain differences in marriage that need to be talked and sorted out but there are also those little things that can just slid by and defuse.
  She also commented that at the beginning of her marriage, it was hard to deal with conflict.  She said that she just had to stop trying to change her husband in discussions and try more to understand and respect his view.
 In conclusion i learned something new about his whole contention thing and dealing with it in the right way.  A difference of opinions can be a great thing if it is handled in the correct manner.