I have been thinking this week about the discussion we had on the importance of having different opinions in a marriage.  Truly it is impossible to evade conflict in a real close relationships. why because we are all different!
The book states that "not only is conflict norma, but when it is handeled properly, it strengthens rather then threatens the marriage."
  I was down in Utah this past weekend visiting my sister.  That Friday we went to the Honda dealership to get an oil change and to meet up with her husband to snag some IN and Out Burger.  Upon our arrival to the dealership my sister stated to her husband that she didn't think the car needed an oil change because there was no waring light indicating such.
  As we approached the counter my sister's husband told the the man that he believed the car needed an oil change because it had been 3 months.   The man then commented that due to the fact that car was newer version  that the car had sensors and would indicate when it was necessary to get an oil change.
  My sister that pulled the " I told you so..." comment bu they later agreed to just take advantage of moment and they got the oil change done.   The double double animal style burger was delicious as always but the conversation over our burgers was a little slim.   i could tell there was a little contention in the air.
  My sister later enlightened me on contention in marriage by telling me that her husbands way of dealing with little things like this, was to  "defuse".  She said that there are certain differences in marriage that need to be talked and sorted out but there are also those little things that can just slid by and defuse.
  She also commented that at the beginning of her marriage, it was hard to deal with conflict.  She said that she just had to stop trying to change her husband in discussions and try more to understand and respect his view.
 In conclusion i learned something new about his whole contention thing and dealing with it in the right way.  A difference of opinions can be a great thing if it is handled in the correct manner.